The Scale of Love

January 1, 2009 10:02AM


This is the first day of the year.

I always had this feeling all over again. I really hate having these thoughts. I woke up like 30 minutes ago. It’s New Year, new morning; somehow it’s a new life, new life to continue what you have started or start a new beginning; a hard thing to think about. Isn’t?

We had a fight last night, a childish text fight turned into a serious conversation that leads to anxiety. Our table last night filled with blessings, categorized according to my likings; sweet, sour, salty and combinations. But the bitterness which I wasn’t expecting had sprinkled right down on my very last time tasting the sweetness. Fighting against this black-whole- curse keeps me struggled all through the night and unknown when it will lasted.

I don’t know if I really felt love but how about this HURT lingers on me every time we had arguments? Should I say it is just a selfishness acts or ruined pride hiding behind my back? Or maybe I am not ready to face the wisdom of LOVE.

We have been in this relationship for almost 4 months. I cried and learnt mistakes, and later we forgive each other for whatsoever stuff we have argued. Remembering the times we almost lose our grips holding for what we have believed in has strengthened our relationship until this moment. We have started as growing pains of love; friendship has come along with it and nobody knows we have reserved time for each other. Knowing that love has been derived from our actions, still believing this love could grow according to my expectations.

Loving a person that's already owned by somebody is risky. To show your sincere love doesn't mean you could expect something in return. But how come love has grown like this? How come the hands of time rolled slowly when we’re together? And I know when we’re together that doesn’t mean forever. I could feel the love but I am barely sure it’s not that hundred percent. And the probability to fade and fall out is residing on me. Sometimes the scale of love favored on me and I know most of the time locks down to somebody.

Have love grown for worst? Or it just let you realized it wasn’t your way and dead end has clearly visible this time. Do you believe wishing on falling star? Does it grant to whom who sees it first? Or it is just an illusion to give you false hope. Does seeing each other mean healing the sickness of missing? Or it is just a manifestation that the probability of realization running fast on your way out.

Sometimes, you have done mistakes you knew were right. Sometimes we tried to be perfect when in fact the things you make it perfect realized perfection has gone before you arrived. Sometimes giving your all doesn’t mean filling an empty Jar; sometimes you’ll end up seeing yourself messed up on the floor and the jar you supposed to fill is just left opened and already filled.

How could you know when you both decided to end it up, when in fact you’re both asking same words “ayaw mo na ba kahit ako gusto ko pa…?

My 2009 Plans and dreams

I have a bit on my mind right now, but I think it ain't enough to share it with you although it's really late to show them up...hehhe

OK, Since Kate kept asking me to show this blog to her I think I have to put something interesting...LOL. BTW kate if you could see, I have posted again like almost a year of nothing heheh.

It's 4:06PM a day before New Year. A wet afternoon and I am listening to Jason Mraz playlist on ImeemThe song is called summer breeze and I'm kinda liking it...hehhe

I've asked myself. Vic you're 25 on the first day of September, have you had enough accomplishment in your life? 1,2,3,4 seconds has gone and honestly I haven't got those chronological ideas but partly I am starting to gather all those.

I'm trying not to be materialistic somehow but this is the first thing that comes on my mind hehe...Basically these are only DREAMS and I have gotten nothing on my plans yet, but surely I will be posting those soon. hehhheh

HONDA Civic

Or this could be great as well hehhe

TOYOTA Camry